Being Strong and Courageous - Facing the Treatment Plan

Yahoo - It's been 2 weeks since my double mastectomy and I'm doing GREAT! I had doctor appointments yesterday and here's the rundown:

• Plastic Surgery
• The surgeon is happy with my progress.  I am now drain-free and they put 50 more cc's into each tissue expander.  My final reconstruction will happen at least 6-months post radiation treatments.  
• I can feel my nerves starting to regenerate on my left arm, underarms and across my chest. 
• Oncology
• The oncologist was happy that we went with the bilateral mastectomy. My tumor was 2.8 cm and I also had numerous pre-cancerous areas in my left breast.  
• My right breast came back with no abnormalities but I have reduced my cancer risk for the future.  
• My chemotherapy treatment plan is called TCHP (click the link to read about my treatment plan). I will begin chemo in 2 weeks and go every 3 weeks for 6 different treatments.  
• After chemotherapy is over I will do radiation therapy because my cancer is so aggressive and my lymph nodes were involved.  
• I will also take a different therapy for 52 weeks (yup - that's right ladies and gents.... a whole YEAR....)
• Then I will be on an anti-cancer drug for 10 years.  

Friends, my cancer was found through my annual screening mammogram. As a Public Health Practitioner I have always taught that screening saves lives - I am now a testimony that screenings works! My cancer could not be felt with fingers, it was microscopic.  It is highly deadly and fast spreading.  If this cancer was not detected early, my prognosis would be very different.  Friends, be proactive active with your health, be your own advocate - your family needs you!!  

Many thanks to the people who have brought meals, helped with housework, brought flowers and had us in your prayers.  This will be a long year of treatment, we will be strong and courageous throughout this fight. 

To God be the Glory!  

Being Strong and Courageous - Amidst the Fear

The mind/body connection has always amazed me. Earlier this week, I wrote about being strong and courageous - amidst the anger. Despite thinking that I am handling this journey just fine - my body and mind continually remind me that I need to embrace more challenges, my next challenge being strong and courageous amidst the fear. 

It's been hard to sleep (without pain killers) after surgery. I have drain-tubes and incisions that hurt.  It's so hard to get comfortable and really SLEEP.  One night this week, I had a horrible nightmare. Someone had kidnapped one of my children and as you know...nobody messes with my kids! The rest of the night, I fought off evil to protect my children.

After waking up from my nightmare, I was able to realize that my the connection of my dream to my cancer. Although, I as normal human, thought I was handling my journey, I subconsciously was fearful this disease was going to take me away from my children.  In my dream, I would do anything to protect my children and that remains true in this journey, I will do anything to ensure they are protected.  This nightmare, helped me realize that even though life can throw me curveballs, I will continue to do ANYTHING for my for my priorities in life.  

My priorities in life can be mapped out using my hand.

• My thumb
• Points up to Christ and back to me.  Christ guides me and I work for Christ
• Pointer Finger 
• Points to my loving husband. Dan keeps me accountable, cares for me unconditionally and has been amazing in this journey
• Middle Finger
• My children are the result of Christ and my husband.  They can sometimes be pains in my side but .... my children are my gifts from God, my legacy and my true joy. 
• Ring Finger
• My family that loves and supports me; my parents, family, friends & church family
• Pinky Finger
• My community that loves and supports my family and I. 

My journey might be long but I will continue to stand with being strong and courageous amidst fear because Christ is my guide; Dan is my helper; Caleb, Abby & Nathan are my gifts;  my family and community are given to me by Christ to help and guide me in this journey.  To Him be the GLORY! 

Being Strong and Courageous - Amidst the Anger

1-week post bilateral mastectomy 

Over the last few days, I've been reflecting on the purpose of my blog, how honest am I with you; to whom am I really writing for? Ultimately, I see this blog as an educational opportunity with 100% honesty.

Truthfully, I knew at some point, I would go through the
"stages of grief" in dealing with my cancer and as my usual way of dealing with things....I don't do anything "normal."

It has been one month since my diagnosis.  I did for a brief moment....think to myself..."I've been through enough crap.  R.E.A.L.L.Y??? Okay God, if this is what you have planned for me...let's do this.  Let's do this.  LET'S DO THIS!"

I then realized (very quickly)....nooooo.....I don't want this to hurt my children! "God - let's do this but ....let's spare my kids."

Yesterday's doctor's appointment went great! Both surgeons (yes - each breast had their own surgeon) said I was doing great! I had two of four drains removed and they are hopeful I can be rid of the other two drains next week!  The doctor's also said I could take a shower!!!! YAHOOOOOO!!!!

Last night, I couldn't handle my excitement....I put a plastic folding chair in the shower, turned on the water, lined up my shampoo, razor and soap.  Let's do this! Who cares that Dan is over at church in a meeting.  I'm one week post-surgery, I got a GREAT report from the doctor's, HELL yes - Let's DO this!

A few minutes into the shower I realized this was probably a REALLY bad decision.  I had to call for Abby to help me finish my shower.  Caleb was there for back-up.  This Southern Mama was humiliated.  Thanks to my kids, I finished my shower, got dressed and crawled into bed.  The evening was full of physical and emotional pain with an onslaught of anger towards a disease that has impacted my kids, my husband and my community.

I'm now having to "give in" to the fact that....yes....cancer is in me but it is effecting change in so many more people than just me. I'm learning that it's not up to me to control the disease and its consequences. Perhaps, God will use this opportunity to teach how to accept grace from others, embrace the loss of control and the willingness to go where I never would have thought.  I know God will use me for His will.  "Let's do this. LET'S DO THIS! L.E.T.S. D.O T.H.I.S!!!!"

It's a journey

Whoever came up with the adage, "life is a journey, not a sprint" might have had breast cancer.  There is NO WAY I could sprint anywhere, much less walk fast!

My 5 hour surgery went great! One big surprise was the surgeon did find that my cancer had spread into my main lymph node in my left arm.
In all, I had 16 lymph nodes removed.  If you want to learn more about lymph node involvement please visit the American Cancer Society's webpage to find out more.

As of now, my breast cancer is considered a stage 2, grade 3, estrogen positive and HER 2 positive cancer.

I am very thankful I had a bilateral mastectomy  and will likely have my ovaries removed after all of my cancer treatments are complete. I will start chemotherapy in 3.5 weeks so watch out world!

Many of you have asked about making meals for us.  Please visit the Meal Train for the Schoessow Family to sign up.  Also, if you want to pop over and do a load of laundry or make a bed - please feel free to do so.  We are so thankful for all of your love and support.